I dun know whether to be happy, amazed, relieved or downright disgusted with myself. Honestly I cannot fathom this particular mystery which happened today. I shall aptly title it the Mystery of the Missing Keys.
So let's start from where I figure something might have gone wrong. So in short, this whole thing came about cos I couldn't find my house keys this morning. (note: house keys include house keys plus that beeper thing which lets u beep yourself through those revolving doors) I know this description sounds rather stupid, but I'm in no mood for fancy words now.
So at 630pm last nite (Monday nite), I went down to the printing room to print out my lecture notes. I took my keys with me. Then I came back to cook dinner and then to watch wrestling, before Yikley came over to do some work. Annie came over too at 10pm to ask me some physics stuff, this after she had declared she no longer needed my help with physics anymore. Aiya, girls!
So this morning, feeling pissed that I had to go to school for simply 1 class just to turn in homework, I reached for the keys which usually sit on my table. But shit, there was no keys there. Now, this has happened before, but usually, when the keys are not on the right side of the table, it's on the left. But this morning, it was neither on the left or on the right. PANIC! I spent 15 min searching my room, sweeping stuff off my desk, searching for those keys. For those people who can imagine the monstrous amount of stuff on my desk, u can understand why this took 15 min. Convincing myself that those keys would magically appear when I get home, I finally took the later bus to school!
Fast forward to 3 hours ago, when I rushed home to search for my keys, and to watch the Barcelona-Chelsea match. Let me digress slightly. Everyone knows Man Utd are one of Leeds' biggest rivals (you've all heard about the War of the Roses), so it seems highly unlikely I would ever support Man Utd. Well, let's just put it this way now .... I hate Man Utd, but I admit they were good. The same can't be said for Chelsea ... not only are they just average, they are so pompous and arrogant they put supposedly arrogant ACS boys to shame. Now wouldn't you all say [A]rrogant [C]helsea [S]ucks. Well, yeah big time! So it's not that I support Barcelona; in fact, I would take Real Madrid anyday simply because they have Jonathon Woodgate playing for them once in 2 months. So as I was frantically searching for my keys, I was hoping that Chelsea would not score, so that they can get their asses kicked out of the Champions League. I know it's rare for me to say this, but I'd rather Man Utd win the Champions League than Chelsea. I hate Chelsea!
So back to the issue of the keys. I recombed my desk, to the extent that I even bothered throwing away rubbish papers, using a cloth to wipe the dirt off my table, and packed everything neatly into piles. But I still couldn't find those damn keys. Next stop: the bed. I rummaged through those clothes which are on my bed. I even searched through the dirty clothes in the laundry bag. I rummaged through the pockets of whatever clothes were on the floor. Finally I decided to put those clean clothes back into the closet, so everything would look neater and any key lying around could more easily be found. Occasionally I would peek at my computer to check on the Chelsea-Barca score. 0-0 still!
Next I cleared the floor of any paper and plastic bags, but still no keys. Having convinced myself that the keys are not in my room, I proceeded to the kitchen. Imagine if I were to find the keys in the kitchen, what in the world was I doing yesterday? Was I even contemplating roasting those keys for dinner? So I went through the fridge and the freezer rather quickly, realizing that I could not be such a cock as to dump my keys together with food. Fortunately (or unluckily for me), the keys weren't inside. So I went through the stove and the rest of the kitchen, realizing that the kitchen was the last place the keys could be found.
Next stop: living room. I cleared the mess and newspapers off the dining table but no key! So I proceeded to the coffee table, which I usually use to kiao ka as I watch TV. No keys still. I remembered that I had cleared those can drinks and cup noodles off the table the nite b4, so I actually went through the trash searching for my keys. Imagine the desperation when I sighted no keys. I suddenly remembered I was watching wrestling last nite. So I looked through the couch which I was sitting on. (note: Yikley was on the other couch trying to do work) I even bothered to summon all my energy reserves to single-handedly lift the damn heavy couch off the floor, so I could check if my keys were underneath. Damn! No keys still.
So I went back to my room. Standing up, I traced the events of last nite. I came back with my Civ book in my left arm, so I must have opened the door with my right arm. I thus must have had the keys in my right hand when I went into my room to put down the book. Thus I figured the keys had to be on the right side of the desk. To make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me, I closed my eyes, and simply used my hands to feel for keys. But all I could sense was hopelessness and cockness!
Finally I decided to go down to the conceige to ask if any kind soul had returned any lost keys. The guy said 'no'. I said 'oh'. I concluded that I must have left the keys in the keyhole and forgot to take them in when I opened the door, and some cockster must have made off with the keys. Frustrated with myself, I kicked everything in sight: my bed, the wall, the doors. Fortunately I have an iron leg, so no damage was done.
I sunk onto my seat. The score read Barcelona 1 Chelshit 0. That was good! Making 1 desperate attempt to retrive my keys, I went into my toilet, hoping I might have left it there for watever reason. As expected, no keys!
The only sensible place I had not searched was the couch Yikley sat on. But for watever reason, I cannot fathom how my key could have made its way to a location I did not even go to last nite or this morning. But aniway, I went to take a look. I threw the cushions and pillows off the couch, and lo and behold, I found my keys meshed into the corner of the couch. What the hell? How could those keys have made its way there? Yikley didn't even borrow my keys. But for now, I am happy and thankful. I'll only start thinking about how it got its way there later. For now, it's Barcelona 1 Chelsea 1. Chelsea have been eliminated from the Champions League!
I actually contemplated taking a photo of my keys to post in this entry. But I gathered that would be stupid. Something which caused me endless trouble today has no right to make its way onto this blog. It can sure make its way to the couch, but it sure ain't finding its way online. Till next time.
By the way, dun u all think this mystery got more drama than a cantonese soap opera? Well, at least this searching for the keys forced me to tidy up my room. Till next time ..... I hope the next time shall be an entry from our mystery guest blogger.
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